Sharing your personal life on your podcast with Kat John
Have you ever experienced a vulnerability hangover? That sick feeling in your gut after you’ve shared something really personal. You feel exposed and wish you could take it all back.
A lot of experts in the marketing and social media space talk about the importance of being authentic with your audience. People want to see and know the real you. They want to hear what’s going on in your actual life so they can relate to you as a person, not just be fed the same old filtered nonsense.
But how much of your personal life should you share on your podcast?
And when does being authentic cross over into oversharing?
Someone who lives and breathes authenticity is Kat John, host of the popular podcast, Real Raw Relatable. Kat has a highly engaged audience on Instagram and her podcast has garnered a reputation for its vulnerable and relatable content. Her listeners lap it up.
I recently caught up with Kat to talk about her approach to sharing her personal life on her podcast. Considering Kat’s willingness to be vulnerable, I was really interested to hear how she navigates the boundaries between authenticity and privacy.
The Power of Authenticity
Kat's podcast is all about authenticity. She bares her soul and shares what's happening in her life at any given moment.
But sharing in this way isn’t about being self-indulgent. Kat believes in creating a connection with her listeners and serving them through her vulnerability. By being authentic and talking about her personal struggles, Kat allows her audience to connect with her on a deeper level and helps them navigate their own challenges.
Boundaries: The Cure for a Vulnerability Hangover
While Kat shares a great deal on her podcast, there are still boundaries she respects. For instance, when it comes to her role as a step-parent, Kat is mindful to protect the privacy of the children and their mother. It's important to her to retain some aspects of her life that aren't meant for public consumption.
There are also topics that Kat would be keen to explore with her partner, Steve, on the show, but if he isn’t comfortable discussing them, she respects his wishes. Maintaining these boundaries allows Kat to strike that balance between openness and oversharing.
Adapting Your Content to Reflect Your Life
When Kat first started her podcast, she had a loose plan for the first 10 episodes. After that, she soon realised the importance of adapting her content to reflect what was happening in her life at that moment.
By allowing her podcast to be a reflection of her life in real-time, Kat’s content stays relevant and relatable to her listeners. While the topics may vary, the underlying message and the guidance she offers her listeners remain consistent, creating a sense of trust and familiarity.
Vulnerability Creates Intimacy
As a host, sharing personal stories and experiences on your podcast can be a cathartic experience, but it also creates a strong connection with your audience. Kat's vulnerability allows her listeners to feel like they know her intimately. Listeners appreciate her honesty and find comfort in knowing that they're not alone in their struggles.
Podcasting is a Slow Burn
Unlike other forms of social media where you get immediate feedback and validation of your content through likes, comments and shares, podcasting is a slow burn.
But just because you don’t get an immediate response, that’s not an indication of how much impact you are making.
Kat has received messages of gratitude from people who listened to episodes that were released years ago. It just goes to show that podcasting is a long-term commitment, and the impact of your content can continue to grow over time.
Building an audience doesn’t happen overnight, but the deep connections forged through podcasting make it a uniquely rewarding medium.
Kat’s podcasting journey and her willingness to be an open book with her listeners is a real inspiration. She connects with her audience on a profound level and with the right boundaries in place, she has created a space where both authenticity and growth thrive.
So, if you're ready to hit that record button and share warts and all with the world, take Kat's advice to heart and remember: the power of your podcast lies in the genuine connection you forge with your audience.
Transcript:
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[00:00:00] Brianna: Today we are chatting with Kat John who has a podcast called Real Raw Relatable. Kat is an authenticity coach. She has an extremely engaged audience on Instagram as well as a podcast that is very well received and highly regarded.
[00:00:15] I invited Kat on today because I thought it would be an interesting one to talk to someone that really gives what you think is like everything away on her podcast. She's extremely vulnerable. She shares from what's going on with her life at that time. They are very much personal journals, but they're also there to serve you as the listener.
[00:00:34] It's really coming from a place of giving. You can connect with her really easily because she is so authentic. And so I felt like I wanted to chat to her about how she does that. on a podcast, like how, especially when there's no one there on the other side, she also often has her partner Steve on the show.
[00:00:51] And I wanted to chat to her about boundaries because she is an authenticity coach and she is so relatable and raw. How much is left like behind the scenes? How much do you give versus keep for yourself? So I think you'll find this one really interesting from a podcast perspective because of that. If you're someone that likes to share or you feel like you don't share enough, but you still want a boundary there.
[00:01:13] Have a listen to this one. Cat is a wealth of knowledge and is also just a wonderful human being. Thank you so much for joining me here today. I went and had a listen back at your first episode, which was released on the 25th of June, 2019. It was called Pain to Power. Most of the time when I go back and listen to the first episode of any podcast, it's a bit of a cringe.
[00:01:44] You just start out and you kind of suck, right? Like, and that's fine, you're supposed to. But your first episode, I was like, Kat already sounds amazing. She already sounds like she's been podcasting for years. So hats off to you to begin with there. You actually did a really good [00:02:00] first episode.
[00:02:01] Kat: Oh, thank you.
[00:02:02] That
[00:02:02] was not what was happening in the background. I tell you what, but I'm glad it's, I'm glad it came across that way.
[00:02:09] Brianna: It was pretty good. I wanted to know why you decided that podcasting was something that you felt called to do. You really wanted to have one
[00:02:20] Kat: at that time for some time before that a part of the work that I practice is I have these true end results that I.
[00:02:30] I have very much at the forefront of my mind, and I guess I make the little steps along the way to fulfill that end result. And one of my end results was to share my heart's message on the world stage. I do this little process where I tap in, tune in, and then receive guidance as to what my next best step is in order to share my heart's message on the world stage.
[00:02:55] I guess at that point I had my Instagram platform and I had done some speaking gigs before that. ran facilitation circles, et cetera. But when I was in this little practice, the next best step was actually pretty gnarly. It actually, you know, I saw it visually in my head. It said podcast and it actually said the three words real, raw, relatable.
[00:03:15] I thought, Oh gosh, no, not a podcast. So I actually, it wasn't on my radar. But I was, depending upon what kind of believer you are in the world, I was called to do it. I thought, okay, well, if this is my next best step, then off we go. That was tricky trying to like actually show up to a mic. And speak, what am I going to speak about?
[00:03:37] What the hell is my message? That's the first thing that pushed me slash called me to do the podcast.
[00:03:42] Brianna: That's, you know, really funny that I look at this now for you when you think like, what the hell am I going to speak about? You're now 239 episodes in, and most of them are solo. Actually, that's something that I think is.
[00:03:56] It's hard to do. How do you not [00:04:00] repeat yourself? Do you have some sort of plan when you go to record episodes? Maybe you do repeat yourself. How do these actual episodes come into your brain that you want to talk about?
[00:04:10] Kat: In the beginning, I sort of had it mapped out as to like the first 10 episodes that I wanted to talk about.
[00:04:16] The first thing with the name of my podcast being called Real Raw Relatable, it's real guidance, raw truths, and relatable stories. So that already just gives me free reign to really share my life and to share what's going on and all that kind of jazz. So in the beginning, I had 10 episodes written down.
[00:04:38] I'm like, cool, I'll talk to those areas that I feel comfortable talking into. I've got lived experience. I can share real guidance, raw truths and relatable stories. And then what I noticed is like, for example, I'll use like COVID as an example, or when Black Lives Matter came about, I noticed that when I had pre set topics to talk about, and if I had already pre recorded them, for me, I noticed that I didn't feel comfortable when say big worldly things were taking place, like when the bushfires were taking place.
[00:05:14] And then let's say I had a podcast sharing about, X, Y, or whatever it may be, especially if I felt called to speak to what might be going on in the world and how my viewpoints could aid another human being listening to the podcast. So after that sort of realization, really what I do to this day is. I show up to my podcast recording area, no different to how I did way back when, you know, of how to tap into my next best step.
[00:05:43] I just, I close my eyes and I get quiet and I'll ask myself, what truth do I want to share today? There'll always be a different topic. So sometimes it might be super relevant in my life right now. And I feel comfortable to talk about it. It might still be super relevant in my [00:06:00] life right now. But I can only share parts of it, or it might be something way from the past.
[00:06:04] I'm like, you know what? I haven't actually spoken about that angle of that particular topic. But what I'd say is the topics that I talk about, they're the parts that vary, but the underlying message and work and offerings to my listeners, that primarily stays the same, which I think is important because when it comes to foundational work to offer people.
[00:06:27] When there's foundational work, no matter what's going on in your life, relationship stuff, financial stuff, whatever it may be, if you can offer. Something foundational and concrete, it builds trust within, at least for my listeners that, okay, cool, no matter what's going on, I can apply this or that, or whatever Kat's offering and it just might work.
[00:06:48] Brianna: Yeah, and then when you speak further to that, because there's so much vulnerability. In what you share, there's so much of your actual, like, life, what's going on for you, what's going on with your partner, and things that are going on, obviously you can talk about these things. Is there stuff that you still feel like is yours, that you don't share?
[00:07:09] Kat: There's definitely some areas where, for example, I'm a stepparent, or bonus parent, as the new terminology is saying. If I talk about that, I will talk about my experience with being a stepparent. My boundary is I won't go into the detail of the girls, or their mum, or Steve and their mum, because I don't have permission to do that.
[00:07:33] And that's not my story to tell, but I know that there are many bonus parents out there who are struggling and I'm one of them, but with being an authenticity coach and someone who really stands for authenticity, to me, being authentic is the willingness to be real and honest. I am willing to be real and honest.
[00:07:53] And to certain degrees, I I'll take you all the way in. And then there are other areas where I [00:08:00] have to leave it. Just not quite superficial, but not as deep as where I could take it. So there are definite areas where there are boundaries. There are some topics like Steve comes on once a month. There are some topics that I would love to talk about, and he just doesn't feel comfortable.
[00:08:15] And I'm like, okay, I have to respect that. Maybe he will be happy to talk about that one day. Maybe he won't. But there's two of us in this on those particular episodes, so there's definitely stuff that's still mine.
[00:08:26] Brianna: Yeah. And I think that's really important because depending on the type of podcast you have, it can be really like a journal.
[00:08:34] Really cathartic for the person, like the host as well, just delivering that information and getting it out of yourself. There's something about voicing your thoughts that's really powerful. And I really think that it's a testament to you. The fact that you can be vulnerable and share, but then also hold some things back for yourself, but share enough that people really feel like they know you, they connect with you, and they can understand, and it keeps them coming back.
[00:09:05] I think for anyone that has a podcaster who is looking to start one, I would absolutely recommend that you listen to Kat's show to hear how she delivers. Especially the solo content in the way that she shares the phrasing, the pausing, the invitation to reflect yourself as well as you're listening to it.
[00:09:26] These are all really valuable tools in podcasting. What don't you like about? doing a podcast.
[00:09:35] Kat: In the beginning, what I didn't like is that I didn't know what I was doing. I struggled with comparing myself to others. And I would say even up until this day, what I don't like about podcasting is really my own thoughts that I have about podcasting, if that makes sense.
[00:09:50] Like, Oh, is anyone listening to this? Does anyone still care? Does anyone care about real guidance for all true relatable stories? To be honest, now that it's, [00:10:00] yeah, well, four years in, I actually totally didn't even realize it was four years in. Everything feels very comfortable and natural, so that's a nice feeling.
[00:10:08] But yeah, I'd say more than anything, it's the thoughts that I at times have when it comes to doubting my podcast, but then it's very quickly changed when I see people's messages and DMs and emails sharing how it's, it's helped them serve them, change them. So yeah, that's what it is for me.
[00:10:27] Brianna: I think it's the nature of this medium because it's not like other things where you can post something on Instagram and then you get comments straight away.
[00:10:36] Or if you have YouTube, you get comments, you get feedback, people can respond to things even on. Spotify and things these days, you've got polls and you've got ways that people can connect with you and Twitter and all these things. Podcasting is another form of social media. Really, it is. It's actually a way more connected version of social media because your whole audience has the opportunity to see, to hear what you've delivered without an algorithm barrier to it.
[00:11:04] So it's actually the most connected. But. In a lot of ways, the disconnect is huge as well. You don't get the instant feedback. You don't get the hit of dopamine. And again, that's something I really like. I'm getting goosebumps thinking about that because I love that you don't, because it makes you. Think about it for yourself.
[00:11:27] More so than going outward and being like, I wonder what my audience thinks of this. You don't have that. You just deliver the content and see what happens. And you can see the download numbers and you can see how they've grown over time. And if you've had a podcast for a while and you're feeling a bit dejected or you've got these thoughts in your head like, Was anyone still listening or yeah, who are you doing it for?
[00:11:51] Are you doing it for them?
[00:11:52] Kat: Exactly. There's a few podcasts that I've done in the past where if they go down into the show notes, then they can access a particular [00:12:00] meditation. And it's like years ago and just this morning I'm getting emails of people requesting that meditation. I'm like, Oh, I forget that people aren't just listening live and every week, like people will come in at very different times.
[00:12:18] When I receive emails, you know, those notifications, I'm like, ha. Okay. It reminds me to respect this medium more than what we just talked about, the Instagram type, which is, you know, post comment, post comment, post comments, like, oh, it can be a slow burn.
[00:12:35] Brianna: Yeah, absolutely. And when we look at other shows that are really taking off at the moment, like Diary of a CEO and Alex Hormozy and shows that are quite large now, when you actually go back and you look at how many years those people have been doing these shows, it's like six years.
[00:12:51] Yeah. Before it gets any anywhere.
[00:12:53] Kat: It's so true. I mean, that's the same as my social media platforms. Nine years I've been in my business and it's, it was only last year, not only, but last year where it. phenomenally grew. Well, you know, we're always like, I want this many downloads because that's how many downloads it says to have.
[00:13:10] And I think that that's one of the toughest things, whether you start your podcast or whatever it may be that you start, it's those thoughts that come along with that, that say, Oh, well, that's not good enough. That didn't get enough downloads. You didn't get a review. You didn't get a rating. You didn't get this.
[00:13:25] You didn't get that. So then, yeah, you might quit prematurely, but like you just. said, you know, six years, eight years, they might have had that show and just kept plugging away and, and you're right. You do it for you and you do it for the message, not for the accolade.
[00:13:41] Brianna: The more you do it, as long as it's quality, it eventually gets to a place where you want it to go.
[00:13:48] And it's like any creative pursuit where it really has to be about you wanting to do it. Above all else, because if you stick at anything for long enough, then it [00:14:00] becomes all your wildest dreams come true, you know, so that's awesome. For anyone who doesn't know, Steve is Kat's partner and you now have Steve on the show regularly.
[00:14:12] Was that a conversation you had with him? Was he like keen to do it? Did he come to you? Like, how did that actually come to fruition where you felt like I want to have him on more regularly?
[00:14:24] Kat: Yeah, it actually started from a few of my friends. So there's a few friends that, one, are in blended families, but also two that are just in relationships.
[00:14:35] And I would often share how Steve and I approach things. And there have also been times where Steve has been on the podcast and people have often written in afterwards to say, thank you, even just hearing the way you two speak and your dynamic and his perspective versus your perspective, they really enjoyed it.
[00:14:57] A few of my friends in my circle were like, I would love to hear more of you and Steve together, in some way, shape or form, like maybe you could start your own program. Maybe you could run a course together. And I wasn't sort of really feeling that I'm like, I don't want to just start a relationship course.
[00:15:17] It didn't feel right for me. But I do know because Steve and I used to facilitate some courses together, people loved our dynamic and he has a lot to share and he has quite a lot to say. And like I said, we have like a pretty cool dynamic. He and I are brutally, beautifully honest with one another and we really know how to clear.
[00:15:41] our shit very well and we've learned how to hold space for one another. So yeah, it was one of my friends. She just said, why don't you have him on the podcast like once a month or, and just see how it goes and see what that turns into. I thought that's actually not a bad idea. I didn't feel any resistance to [00:16:00] that.
[00:16:00] And so I shared that with Steve and he's like, hell yeah, I'm totally down for that. And yeah, we, since we've started to do it, the amount of people that might just stop me in the street or say like that podcast between you and Steve that really helped. And it's no different. We don't have it all planned out.
[00:16:17] We just look at areas of our life that we have nailed or are nailing. And we look at the process that we've used to. Help us nail slash continue to nail it, but where we were before and what led us to needing to find a new way. And they're really popular episodes. They definitely create an impact for people.
[00:16:40] So it was again, organic,
[00:16:42] Brianna: organic, wow. And so when you look back now on this journey, since June 2019, how do you feel like you've changed or how do you feel like the podcast has helped you personally, but also professionally?
[00:17:00] Kat: In terms of personally, it's that first episode I recorded nine times. I would get like seven minutes in and then I'd listen back and I'm like, nah, delete.
[00:17:10] Do it again. Seven minutes in. I'm like, nah, delete. And then after the ninth one, I was like, Kat, John, if you hit delete one more time, I'm going to delete you. I was so mad at myself. I was like, how on earth am I ever, ever, ever, ever going to do this fricking podcasting stuff if I'm just going to keep recording and deleting.
[00:17:32] So it helped me find my voice even more and own my voice even more. And that this is the way that I like to do things and this is my lane and cool. I can look to see what other people might do and be like, Oh, that's actually a great idea. Maybe I might introduce that or just. respect someone for doing it the way they were doing it.
[00:17:53] And I'm like, you know what, this is just what feels right and good and true for me. So personally, it helped me own [00:18:00] my lane and yet get very comfortable in my voice. So it's like, all right, cool. What's my message? How am I going to deliver this? How can I, like what you said, offer a piece of guidance to them at the end for them to ponder about?
[00:18:15] So it helped me get very succinct with how to deliver a message to professionally. It really did amplify quite a lot, I guess. Like I said, I want to share my heart's message on the world stage. And more and more people started to then come into my coaching. It became an introduction. So if they saw me on Instagram and they're like, I like her vibe, then they would come into my podcast.
[00:18:40] They'd be like, Oh, wow. She's. She's actually got some real depth here and that would then help them feel comfortable with knowing what I'm about, how I process things, which would then make it much easier for them to book in for coaching. It all kind of clicked in, like the Zero Fucks Dance movement on Tuesdays, again, it would lead them into the podcast, but also too, like, I mean, just this year, there's been an LA TV producer who has reached out, who has listened to my podcast for two years, who's worked with Oprah, who's worked with Jada Pickett Smith and has said, I want to talk to you about creating a show, like a TV show.
[00:19:22] And I'm like, huh? And she's been listening to the podcast, you know, so a lot of cool things have definitely come about. My book deal with Penguin, again, they'd be watching on Instagram. They came onto the podcast and when they reached out, they're just like. If you can write how you speak, let's rock and roll in terms of coaching.
[00:19:46] It's been amazing in terms of like really quite big opportunities. It's also been amazing. So I never know who's listening.
[00:19:53] Brianna: That's so cool. Again, you wouldn't have thought that when you started your show, you just started because you [00:20:00] felt like you wanted to do a podcast. And then because it's vulnerable, it's real, it's authentic, it sounds good.
[00:20:07] You think about what you want to deliver, the content that you want to deliver, and you have quality content. People just recognize that. You can talk until you're blue in the face. And you can waffle and whatever. That's not quality content. So, what Kat said there was really important for you to take away.
[00:20:29] What's the message? And if I'm going to talk on something for 20 minutes by myself, how am I delivering that in a way that people aren't going to turn it off? Because that's something that Kat is extremely good at. So nice work Kat. Okay. I have one last question for you. What's your favorite podcast to listen to at the moment?
[00:20:50] Kat: Ooh, I'm listening to Michael Singer's podcast. He wrote the book, The Untethered Soul, and I don't think it's an active podcast. I'm pretty sure they are recordings of his teachings to particular students. There's three seasons so far. I'm just simply loving one, his message. And again, so if you, if you listen to that, his message is the same.
[00:21:16] His delivery is amazing. Hilarious, but then it's like very similar to what you're talking about. He's hilarious. He goes light, he goes dark and he goes deep. And it leaves you just like, Oh, cool. I didn't even have time to write notes down. Cause I'm just absorbing it all in. So, that's my favorite podcast at the moment.
[00:21:42] Brianna: Wow. I'll have to go and check it out. And we'll put a link to that in the show notes for people. We'll put the links in everything to do with Kat. We'll be there. Easy for you to go and review, listen to, engage with Kat. I have had such a good time exploring Cat's podcast. [00:22:00] Kat, thank you so much for joining us today.
[00:22:02] I really hope that you podcasters out there or one of you podcasters go and engage with some content here and feel better about just getting out there and doing it. Thank you.
